Piggy’s Night Out

Piggy went for a walk one eve
around the neighborhood.
And what should he spy in the clearing there
but campers in the wood.
Their tents were shut, the fire out
“They’re fast asleep”, he thought.
“I think I’ll creep in closer still
to see what food they’ve brought.”
But when he got up to the spot
no food he found, I fear.
But happy, happy better still
some lovely cans of beer.
They’d never miss a single can,
so he would drink just one.
But eighteen cans were drained quite dry
before our boy was done.
He shook his head and tried to stand
he did not feel so right
“I think I’ve had a wee bit much.
I’d best call it a night.”
So Piggy wobbled to his feet.
His head spun like a top.
He stumbled on for several yards
Before he had to stop.
And standing there, upon a rise
he saw a wondrous sight,
a giant, gorgeous spotted sow
awash in soft moonlight.
His heart beat fast, he closed his eyes
and thanked the stars above.
For Cupid’s arrow hit its mark;
Dear Piggy was in love.
He’d never seen a pig so big
with eyes so dark and deep.
This was the one he’d waited for,
a love that he could keep.
And so he staggered closer still
and whispered “‘Lo there Miss.
I have come to rock your world.
So now, let’s have a kiss.”
“Get out of here”, she answered him.
“I said go on, now git.
I’m not a pig you silly fool.
I’m Cow, you drunken twit.”
“I like that, Gal”, said Piggy.
“You’re playing hard to get.
Just let me give my love to you.
You’ll beg for more I bet.”
He snuck in close to steal a kiss.
She answered with a kick.
He landed twenty feet away
His head, it cleared real quick.
Cow was headed straight for him.
and coming at a run.
“Ok, Ok, I take the hint.
I’m outta here. We’re done.”
She chased him round and round again
until the night grew old.
Then Cow went back to ruminate
when Piggy passed out cold.
And when at last he finally woke,
his head, it hurt real bad.
The only memory of that night
was of the dream he had –
an angel sow had broke his heart
then left him neath this tree.
And though that beer was lots of fun
for now, he’ll stick to tea.

image

http://gadling.com/2013/09/10/australian-pig-steals-beer/

This entry was posted in Country Living, Drunk and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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