Yesterday was the six month anniversary of my step-son’s death. My husband said nothing about it and neither did I. I thought, perhaps, he didn’t want to talk about it.
Matthew’s death has been numbing for all of us. I have tried to give comfort to my husband by reminding him that Matthew is still with us. His spirit is around us always. When we first talked about it, Paul asked for a rainbow as a sign. One appeared in the sky. Since then, it has happened for him several times.
My focus has been on my husband. I haven’t spent much time thinking about Matthew. But today, while driving to the train station, I reached out to him. I asked him if he knew how much I loved his father. I told him that I loved him too but that I don’t grieve for him the way his father does. I said I realized I was only his step-mom and that he hadn’t really known me all that well but I wanted him to know how sorry I was for what happened to him and how his life was ended just at a time when it should have been beginning. Then I asked if maybe he could send me a rainbow too, just so I knew he understood. I smiled to myself because I knew this wasn’t a day I was likely to see a rainbow. It was sparkling clear and cold, not a cloud in the sky.
While I stood on the platform, waiting for the train to arrive, I pulled out my phone and took a few photos. There is a photography contest I want to enter and I was still looking for the right shot. It was too bright outside to see much of what I got, so I waited to check until I got on the train. I settled into my seat and began to scroll through the images. When I got to the last one, this is what I saw.
Thank you, Matthew. You made me very happy. I’m sure your Dad will be happy too.