This morning when I opened Facebook, this photo showed up in my News Feed from a page called The Mind Unleashed.
I thought “Wow, how true is that” and immediately shared it.
I’ve been thinking about it all day, how all my life, people expect me to be fine, to pick up the pieces, to carry on. And I do. But they don’t see the cost. I had a friend, an ex-friend, say to me once “It’s easy for you. You’re strong.” I wanted to punch her. No one was there with me the times I fell apart; the mornings I couldn’t get out of bed because I couldn’t face the day; the nights I drank too much wine because I didn’t want to feel the pain. It’s never easy; it’s just the only way I know.
I’m not strong. But here is what I am.
I’m not ashamed to cry in public but I prefer to do my melting down either alone or in the company of loved ones. I don’t need to put on a show to prove how deeply I feel.
When I wind up flat on the floor, I may lay there for awhile, but eventually, I’ll get back up on my feet. I just need some time to catch my breath after getting the wind knocked out of me.
The creatures who survive in this world are the ones who are able to adapt to change. I may not like change. I may not want change. I may shake my fist at change. But sooner or later, I figure out how to live with it and even make it work for me.
I may feel like running away as fast as my little feet will take me but I know there are those who need and depend on me. I may falter, but I won’t let them down.
I’m not a big church-goer but I believe in God. And I believe that when things are just too much for me to handle, that’s when I say “Hey God, I could use a little help here.” And I’ll get it.
So don’t diminish the pain and troubles I or anyone else has gone through by calling us strong. I’m not strong. Superman is strong. Whiskey is strong. Tempered steel is strong. I’m human.